so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
