I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
