Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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