Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
