I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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