Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
