U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
