I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
