bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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