you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
