How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
