You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
