WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
