do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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