does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
