Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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