I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
