Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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