I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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