Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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