ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
