Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
