I'm really into asian looking animals
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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