My room smells like vodka and shame
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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