I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
