he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
