So drunk, too bad you don't want this
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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