love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
