Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
