i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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