What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
