just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
