Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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