My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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