is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
