ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
