glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
