if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
