Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
