But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ugly people sure do ruin things
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
