dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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