I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
