The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
