Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
