So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
