Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
