I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
