OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
