How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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