No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
