I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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