with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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