are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
