Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
